Each January, I always feel compelled to assess our home school and begin to dream up what we will do next year. This year is no exception and so I have found myself increasingly restless and desirous of some alone-time to plan and process. Hence, I am up at 1:00 a.m. writing down thoughts and reading over websites that offer helps to the idealistic home school mother.
There are so many things I want to see take place in our home school, yet each year we begin with a "bang" and slowly fade into the routine of "checking off the list". Then in January, I recognize this tiresome tradition and make plans to change and enhance. I guess that is the journey for many...a cycle of dream, implement, slide into "easy", old ways, awake to the drifting, and get the ship on course again!
I know that I see this same pattern in the spiritual life of myself and others as well, and so instead of despair, I try to ask myself the hard question: "Why do I do this?" And the answer is "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak!" It really comes down to a combination of laziness and busyness! As our lives slowly get busier & busier, we also get lazier & lazier and before we know it, we are way off track!
I am thankful for the Januaries in my life, although unpleasant at first, for they offer me the opportunity to be honest with myself and take a good look at where I am headed -vs- where I want to be going and make the necessary changes to reach the goal. Although I would rather stay perfectly on track and be much wiser and disciplined than I am, the truth is this is real life and weaknesses abound! I am sorry for the opportunities I have missed this last year or the times education was reduced to a list, but I am also thankful that a new year is before me and young minds are still awakened to the music of true education! May the goal be reached eventually...may vision never cease!
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